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GD's Most Dominating Albums Of The 1980's (40-31)

23/09/08 || Global Domination

40. Napalm Death: Scum
^{Released: 1987}

The best way to explain why “Scum” is on this list despite its lineup changes and wildly high-end production (haha), is to come right out and say that were it not, this wouldn’t be much of a list. This is quite simply, an album that made John Peel shit his pants and changed the face of music. There are a couple of albums boasting the latter floating about in the halls of music history, but none of them feature “You Suffer” (a grinding little legendary epic clocking at precisely 1.316 seconds), an album cover scribbled by Jeff Walker. For its time it was the very definition of innovation and speed, and it rightly still retains a very special place in the very soul of grindcore. Napalm Death may not have invented the blast beat, but Mick Harris sure as shit perfected it. Amazingly enough, this ridiculous, fun, unintelligible album got regular air play on BBC radio in the 80’s, a feat which was unprecedented, and… well… yeah. You know what kind of crap gets played on radio these days.

If you’re only hearing this now for the first time, you probably won’t “get it”, but this shit most definitely broke some major ground – and that’s a matter of public record, not just some asshole’s opinion.

-Tash (ex-staffer/genuine sweetheart)

39. Atheist: Piece of time
^{Released: 1989}

Although most people would tell you that “Unquestionable Presence” was Athiest’s best release, “Piece of Time” is no fucking slouch either. Combining the high-speed attack of early death metal and thrash, with a burgeoning emphasis on jazz rhythms, the four madmen would create a spectacular example of how malleable the metal form is. They’d also show how easily one can integrate non-traditional styles into the once seemingly rigid metal cast. Somehow sensing a stylistic predilection for more obscure and possibly dissonant chord progressions, Atheist also never lost sight of that most important element: songcraft. Even though songs blow by at speeds upwards to 220 bpm at times, they retain a definite shape and structure, twisting and winding riffs through a gauntlet of carpal duress and whiplash.

This is only speculation because I wasn’t there, but the speed and quality of the riffage is reminiscent of Trey Azagthoth’s blinding abominations, and I am wondering if they were influenced by each other. Steve Flynn could definitely have given Commando Pete a run for his beer money. The fact that Kelly Schaefer was doing vocals and his guitar acrobatics at the same time only puts a fucking umlaut underneath the exclamation of their genius. Yes I said that. Tony Choy didn’t come in ‘till later, but the world sure did lose an amazing mangler of the deep strings with Roger Patterson before him. All in all, an astonishing landmark album rarely encountered in heavy music today. Belief in goD is a waste of time. Atheist is a stunning reminder of that dictum.

-Col Dubh

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38. Judas Priest: British steel
^{Released: 1980}

This is the third metal album that I bought, right after Maiden’s “No prayer for the dying” and some Blind Guardian shit. Judas Priest is the only one of these bands I still listen to after all these years. I’m not sure what accounts for this record’s lasting power. I guess it just proves the old truth that often the simplest things are the best. “Breaking the law” was amongst the first songs I learned to play on my bass, and it took me around an hour- back in the time when I needed half a day to get “For whom the bell tolls” right. This album is a template for all future heavy metal productions, an example of how it should be done. Since 1980, many have tried to copy Judas Priest’s characteristic style, yet after almost 30 years it is as clear as ever that no one can match the metal gods.

-Max Von Laibach (ex-staffer/cocksucker)

37. Celtic Frost: Morbid tales
^{Released: 1984}

You should probably listen to this album at least once a day to get your recommended daily allowance of “Ugh!”, not to mention your body’s essential “Hey!” and “Uh-hey-HEY!” and a bit of “Raaaiii!”. “Morbid Tales” perfectly bridges the gap between Hellhammer’s apocalyptic primordial thrashing and the darkened gothic epics to come, and it manages to rock the fuck out while doing so. If you can manage to not headbang to the midsection of “Into the Crypts of Rays”, than you might as well call up the Fist of the North Star ‘cause you’re already dead! Ugh! And how can anyone forget the blood-spattering primitiveness of “Procreation of the Wicked” or the all-consuming rendition of “Nocturnal Fear”? For ‘84, you can’t get much blacker, and the atmosphere on this one has never really been replicated successfully (though Darkthrone have been trying their hardest for well on thirty years or something).

-Seker

36. Exodus: Bonded by blood
^{Released: 1984}

Hehe. The first week in Uni there was a karaoke show to which I went and sang “Piranha”. The crowd fucken ran away, and after that I experienced some difficulty finding friends in England. I’m not sure which bands belonged to the great 4, but that doesn’t matter since there were at least ten of them deserving of the title in the 1980s USA. What matters for me is that Exodus’ debut is the spirit of metal embodied. It gives me a huge thrashing boner that kicks in your face and rapes and murders your wife. Every song here is an anthem you should learn to sing within hours of buying the album and the reaction of the crowd to hearing tunes such as “Piranha” or “Bonded by blood” is a testimony to their everlasting power.

-Max Von Laibach (ex-staffer/cocksucker)

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35. Manowar: Kings of metal
^{Released: 1988}

On the first day of Manowar, Eric Adams sang to me… of:

Twelve tons of drumming,
Eleven on the amps,
Ten epic tracks of slaying,
Nine minute bass solos,
Eight choppers revving,
Seven days of POWER,
Six strings a-squealing,
FIIIIIVE COCK-RINGS!
Four kings of metal (four metal kings),
Three thousand people cheering,
Two metal gloves,
And a whole stinking heap of stale cheese!

And that’s why this rocks.

-Angry Mutant Penguin

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34. AC/DC: Back in black
^{Released: 1980}

What do you do when your lead singer dies of alcohol poisoning after your most successful album to date? Hire a new screamer and record one of the best-selling albums of all-time in tribute! Thus, we have “Back in Black” from Australia’s #1 import, AC/DC (ranked just ahead of Mel Gibson and kangaroo shit). How successful was this album? If you spend any part of your day listening to the radio, watching movies, watching sporting events, or listening to your friend’s Ipod, you are guaranteed to hear a track from “Back in Black”. Even your grandmother knows the lyrics to “Shook me All Night Long” and she’s an old cunt.

Quite possibly the quintessential drunken bar album, “Back in Black” showed AC/DC perfecting their rowdy, heavy blues. Brian Johnson’s debut with the band showcased a voice as memorable as the one of the man he replaced. His voice coupled with Angus Young’s signature riffs and solos are as cherished iconic as Keith and Mick. The songwriting may have been as deep as a kiddie pool, but if you can’t have a good time listening to AC/DC, then you have my sympathy. In fact, “Let me Put my Love Into you” will be my wedding song. Bon Scott, wherever you are, you must be damn proud.

-Hanging Limbs (ex-staffer/slurper of man-goo)

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33. Dio: Holy diver
^{Released: 1983}

“Holy Diver, one of the greatest metal albums ever written.” Fact. The debut solo album given to us by the man with a voice smoother than a bottle of single malt scotch, whose songs have more hooks than a fucking tackle box…Ronnie James Dio. I was first introduced to Dio via a VHS tape played by my babysitter at the tender age of 7. Wow, was I ever scared shitless by the “Last in Line” video (I can recall her playing AC/DC, Motley Crue and Twisted Sister videos as well.) In the following years my curiosity towards metal grew. I guess, in a way, I have Dio to thank for that. Anyways, back to the album in question. Dio’s previous godly vocal performances with Sabbath and Rainbow are absolutely worth mention anywhere, but Holy Diver is his crown fucking jewel. The opener “Stand up and Shout” is enough to launch a quadriplegic into a fit of air guitar and fist banging, and the rest of the album ain’t too shabby either. Featuring some of the “catchiest” metal tunes ever written in “Rainbow in the Dark” and “Caught in the Middle”. Damn, and we can’t forget to mention the untouchable title track. This album has it all, including top notch performances by riff master Vivian Campbell, Bassist Jimmy Bain and Vinnie Appice, who’s drumming can be described as nothing short of “godly”. This album ages unbelievably well and I appreciate it more and more with each passing year. There are very few albums I can say that about.

-Tom Ass (longtime forumer, redheaded, tattooed white trash cockmuncher)

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32. King Diamond: Them
^{Released: 1988}

“It is time for tea, it is time again”

Only one man could ever get away with a line like that and by fucking god it earns him spots all over this fucking list. I love just about everything the man has ever written and every song on “Them” is pure Diamond. Great intro, great songwriting, great lyrics, great vocals, great drums, fucking great guitars and a fucking ace-production where even the bass is loud and upfront.

Wonder just how influential the King has been? Take a fucking listen to the opening riff on “Twilight Symphony” from this album and right after take a listen to Amon Amarth´s “The Pursuit Of Vikings” from “Fate Of Norns”, their catchiest song ever. Everybody steals from King Diamond, those who say otherwise are either lying or are simply not aware of it yet.

-Bobby Peru

31. Kreator: Extreme aggression
^{Released: 1989}

Okay, so I didn’t sign on to write this album up and I can’t remember who wanted it or if I got the comment and lost it. So, if you wrote a comment for this bad boy, I appreciate your (sadly wasted) effort. It’s a little awkward for me to be introducing “Extreme Aggression”, because I think Kreator peaked with “Terrible Certainty”, because it was a more aggressive and breathless take on thrash. Even so, I cannot deny the power of “Extreme Aggression”, an album that was aggressive enough to fight a Kodiak bear with a pocket knife. It’s also got more hooks than any of Kreator’s previous albums and was a stepping stone to the excellent “Coma of Souls”. Despite my somewhat disparaging remarks, “Extreme Aggression” is an excellent album by one of the thrash gods and is well deserving of its spot on this list.

-Stephen

GD note: This was the comment that Stephen fucked away somehow:

As far as German thrash of the 80’s goes, with “Extreme Aggression” Kreator set the highest possible standards. Full of extraordinary, eternal thrash anthems like “Betrayer” and “Extreme Aggression”, the record captures a moment in the band’s career where their considerable proficiency and their general irritation with society combined to perfection into a blazing soundtrack of nihilistic rage. A howling Mille Petrozza rants angrily against everything under the sun while his sharp riffing, chaotic soloing and Ventor’s intense drumming drive the songs towards insanity.

Personally, what identifies me with this record more than many others from the thrash glory years is the amount of memorable lines that can become anyone’s statements of intent to those who do not fucken understand us: “…don’t try to tell us what is right for us, we don’t give a fuck anyway, don’t try to steal imagination from us, things we believe we will never betray”. Yeah, that’s right fuckers, love us or hate us! We’re metal, and we’re not going away anytime soon, any-fucken–where! And Kreator have always known about it: we’re what we are, metalheads and nonconformists, critical to all that’s wrong with the human race.

-Baalzamon

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